I do hope there’s a rehab for singleness

So you found my picture on my best friend’s phone and you asked for my number. You started sending me messages, which I entertained, and yesterday you asked for a date. I’m pretty sure you’ll ask why I agreed right away, so I prepared the top five answers I’ve given from my repertoire of previous dates and I’ll just pick one when I get to see your face.


5. I’m single… but I’m not interested.

Oops. Well this is my most frequently used response so don’t feel so dejected. I can say this even before you ask for the menu, or maybe a little after I get to know you better (at this age, I’m really trying to loosen my standard, so this is more likely), or, if your purse appears to be thick, I may just choose to enjoy this dinner before breaking the bad news. Of course before you leave I’ll say “it’s not you, it’s me.”

4. I’m single… well, not really.

So let’s say that I feel you don’t deserve answer #5. Answer #4 means I want to give you a little test.

If I tell you that my current relationship is not working out, how will you respond? If you advise that I break up with him and give you a chance, I might just insert #5 into the conversation. Sorry, I hate relationship wreckers. But if you tell me to think it through and try to work it out (and still offer to pay the bill though you clearly won’t benefit from it) then I just might call you a few days after tonight. Or maybe tomorrow.

3. I’m single… finally.

This response will be triggered if you start telling me about your exes and why you broke up with them. I don’t want to feel like I have a standard to follow (though I’m sure there’s a standard that I want you to follow), and that I have an obligation to please you if we decide to take this first date further. So I’ll tell you that like you, I just went through a though relationship, and as of the moment… (insert #5).


2. I’m single… again.

I probably liked you. This answer means I’m comfortable with answering personal questions from you. I rarely use this response because it reveals so much about me, and I don’t want to appear vulnerable on a first date.

If you get answer #2, I’m probably the one who’ll wait for a call after tonight.


1. I’m single… still.

This is actually more honest than response #2. If I don’t want to be cured of my singleness, then I will not agree on meeting you in the first place. You just have to figure that out. Truth is, I’ve been too focused on my career, and I’m too independent for my own good. I tend to intimidate men with how smart I am, and that’s unintentional.  I swear.

So as the title says, I do hope there’s a rehab for singleness, because I think I’m getting too attached to the idea. And that’s scary.


A response to Daily Prompt: Can’t Get Enough


8 thoughts on “I do hope there’s a rehab for singleness

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